Paul’s Idaho Fries
429 South Street
South Street Souvlaki
507 South Street
Lem outside South Street Souvlaki
Lem outside Paul's
This is Lem’s first entry, and he was under the impression that for every food review thus far, we had all been flown first-class to foreign countries courtesy of the venues we were critiquing, and so he obviously requested Greece.
Of course, not wanting to disappoint, we blindfolded him until arriving at South Street Souvlaki, the closest thing to Greece within five miles.
Lem was immediately impressed with it, and gave us the official claw of approval.
He was so excited to be in an authentic Greek restaurant, and though we were not in Greece (which Lem was not aware of), South Street Souvlaki did not disappoint.He wrote this poem about it:
Their food is made fresh,
And displayed for all to see,
I don’t know its name,
But oh how scrumptious it will be!
Must... cut through... glass...!
Lem decided to go with the classic gyro, the sandwich we all know and love.
Luckily he didn't notice that "Karinos foods, Inc." was written on the bottom.
While waiting, he glanced with wonder at all the Greek on the signs and walls.
"But how can we be located right there, if we can't even fit inside that map?!"
He also admired the maps, and when King Alon noticed this, he regaled Lem with Greek tales of past kingdoms, evil villains, and heroic battles. Some were the classic Greek myths of Homer, but others were true stories about King Alon’s kingdom and its confrontations with Greece. But that’s for another day. Maybe you’ll read about it in another few thousand years.
Apparently Chris, the Souvlaki server, had never shaken hands with a lemon before!
Finally the gyro came!
It was wrapped in pure silver.
The first bite did not disappoint — the meat was tender, and the tzatziki sauce was creamy and fresh.
And doubles as a moisturizer too!
So delicious, he wouldn't even stop eating for a picture with the band.
Until we told him that we were not in Greece, but rather on South Street. Then he started crying.
But regardless, I think we all learned a lesson: it doesn’t matter who you are, or where you come from… all that matters, is how good your food is. Also, we learned that Lem will believe he’s in any country you tell him he’s in.
Leemon me, when you're not strong, I'll be your Lem...
To make Lem feel better, we took him to Lemonville, a magical place where lemons roam free, along with their potato pals and funnel cake friends. AKA Paul’s Boardwalk Fries.
Lemonade? $4. Lem? Priceless.
The menu was nice and simple: lemonade, soda, funnel cake, hot dogs, fried Oreos, and fries. It was the perfect place to stop by for a snack!
Josh Band gave Dottie the money for lemonade, but the security cameras captured this footage:
Josh is nervous...
Lem appears at just the right moment...
And SNATCHES the change!
Success! And he marketed for the band, to boot!
The lemonade was simply delicious. Sweet, tasty, and frozen, so as it melted, you could enjoy it all over again. Being at a lemon-themed location made Lem so happy. And rightly so. Imagine if all your life, you were in a strange place, where all these strange hominids walked around, rival fruits dominated, and everyone thought you were a sourpuss? For people, it’s like seeing the first human after being lost and isolated for months!
Wait. There's a SQUEEZED lemonade?!
Then he suddenly realized… this was not a lemon store… it was a lemonade store! And how is lemonade made? By squeeeezing those innocent little lemons until there’s no life left!
He reached for his poor lemon comrades, oblivious to their destiny…
Come, my lemon friends!
Will he save them, or will it be too late? Find out next time!